Assholes everywhere...

So, I responded to an ad on craigslist about a job interview, and spoke with a dude about the deregulation of electricity in Pennsylvania... okay, so I'm thinking it's a job interview (and trust me, they wanted a resume, told me to come in business attire- which means Tiffany spent 10bux for a suit coat for me at Goodwill, etc etc etc) w/ an Electric Company that's come to town, right? Well, sort of... what it is, is a pyramid scheme... Now, they will deny that it's a pyramid scheme, and show you charts n shit all fucking night proving that it's not. OK- I get it- it's not a pyramid because you've made a much more complex chart that- ESSENTIALLY- shows the same shit that a pyramid scheme does. What it IS, is a multilevel marketing scam, truly pissed me off being there... They wanted me to get 3 more people, get them all to switch service providers, and then for each of them to get three more, so on and so on... there were 4 of us there tonight... 1500 are training tomorrow. After 3 hours of being told up and down and over and over why we need to get on board, it turns out that in order to pull this off, each and everyone involved, would have to use their website in order to get paid; for a one time fee $199.00, and after that just $24.99 per/month, we could have access to this website. Of course you make commission, on every account you get your friends to sign up with, as do they, but then you get a little off of their commission too, so on and so forth. Do you see the problem here? The population is finite- FACT. So, say there's 5million people in Philadelphia; 1500 of those people, are paying 200 bucks tomorrow to be 'trained' to get 3 to 10 accounts, who all will pay THEIR 200 bucks and then try and get 3-10 people who then pay THEIR 200 blah blah blah... major rapid multiplication explosion, in a finite state population. Imagine if you sold AMWAY, and at every door you knocked on the homeowner tried to sell you AMWAY. Anyway, total shit. Irritated. The links in this blog are pretty awesome, I might add and I urge you to check em out...
So, here I am- back to the fucking job-search thing. The funny thing was, the other 3 people duped into finding their way out to the airport Wyndham Hotel, were buying it... and I'm not saying it wouldn't work, potentially, at this level, but eventually, someone gets fucked; sooner than later. I'm not willing to make a few bucks by being a parasitic fuckwad at the expense of my friends or strangers, even. On top of that, they were showing footage of a convention center room w/ at LEAST 2000 people already involved. Like a pyramid cult or something. FUCK THAT! These assholes spoke of how great they were doing, including  little antidotes indicating that they came from humble beginnings, as obvious as one dude talking about snow coming through his bedroom ceiling when he was a kid and eating tree bark! lol... and another guy talking about how great his life is now and how he has a great house, "even though I grew up in the ghetto" etc etc etc... When he said that, I looked at his hands... SOFT like a babies ass, soft! Like hands that've NEVER seen hardship. ANYWAY, fuck em.

On to other shit: The State Farm Insurance guy makes me want to punch him in his fucking face. I hate him. He's smug and irritating and always in some gentrified culturally diverse setting, indicating subliminally that it works for EVERYONE, not just smug, pinchy faced, know-it-all, fucktards w/ sensibly stylish sports coats.

That rant out of the way, I urge anyone in  the area to come out to the Trocadero Theatre here in Philly Feb. 3rd for an exclusive showing of: LEMMY THE MOVIE- 49% Motherfucker/51% SonOfaBitch! Should be awesome! tix are 8bux.

In it, not of it...

Sick of the left, sick of the right, don't wanna be caught in the middle, so I think I'll stay outside in the dark shadowed underbelly I've learned to call 'home'. I'll come out to fight for canned goods, clean water, a keg of Boddington's (tap required!), and 3 cartons of Camel Wides... throw in some Peanut M&M's and a Dr. Pepper, and we're good... otherwise, leave me alone. I'm happy in the fringe; to quote John Kay " I'll live outside your city walls, you don't have to be afraid until I come together". Outlaw me, I don't fucking care... I prefer it, in fact. I'll let you have your sick political battles and you let me have my mind, okay? I pay little attention to laws anyway, so how about law paying little to no attention to me? I understand the need for regulation and order, it's just not ME WHO NEEDS it... It's either that, or I start kicking down doors, bitch-slapping idiots and kicking faces in... I would rather just chill. Sick of spoiled greedy temper tantrum children running the world at the cost of millions and millions of lives. All so a tiny 1% can have 30 cars, 6 houses, 4 yachts, and high priced hookers. I SEE YOU, FUCKER! I AM seeing 'that man behind the curtain'! Knock it the fuck off, and let us evolve! Sick of living under the reign of the industrially insane. Sick of watchingthem fight and step on necks and sue and beat down and financially bankrupt and escape any consequences... Sick of watching.

Behind My Eyes... (an edited and rewritten piece) this is about standing in line at the convenience store while the clerk runs the Lotto machine. lol

YOU FUCK!!! YOU SLOW MOVING PRICK!!! WHAT IN THE SAM HELL ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?!?!? DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!? PRINCE OF PAUPERS AM I!UP FROM DREGS INTO WHICH I WAS CAST AND CAST MYSELF INTO! I'VE LIVED IN A TREE IN A PARK IN A CITY IN A NEIGHBORHOOD FILLED WITH SOCIETYS DOWNTHROWN LOST SOULS.... THE SCHIZOPHRENICS,THE TOURETTES INFLICTED;THOSE WHOSE PLEASURES BECAME OBSESSION AND WHOSE OBSESSIONS BECAME LIKE ENTITIES UNTO THEMSELVES THEREBY MAKING THE INDIVIDUAL NOTHING MORE THAN THE HOST...A GHOST OF THEIR PREVIOUS SELVES...RUNAWAYS,THE ABUSED,THE ABANDONED.....STREET HUSTLERS,HOODLUMS,CRIMINALS,TRAVELLERS,ANARCHISTS,DRUNKS,RUMMIES,JUNKIES,HOOKERS,AND DEALERS.I'VE KNOWN CARD SHARKS AND GAMBLERS,POOLSHARKS,AND RAMBLERS,AND SEEKERS SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF WHAT SOCIETIES WALLS CONTAIN. I'VE DIED,AND KILLED AND LOVED AND HATED AND FOUGHT AND REBELLED AND NEVER FIT IN TO ANYTHING ANYONE COULD EXPLAIN IN ANY SIMPLE TERMS. I'M LIKE ROYALTY IN EXILE, BABY! AN AMERICAN HITCHHIKING FREIGHT HOPPING HOBO HANNIBAL ENEMY OF ROME. I'VE PUNCHED ROCKSTARS AND ROBBED WOULD BE CHICKEN HAWK BUSINESSMAN BOYFUCKERS AND -HOPEFULLY- MADE THEM THINK TWICE BEFORE THEY PICKED UP ANOTHER YOUNG STREET BOY OR GIRL WITH THE INTENTIONS OF DEFILEMENT OR ABUSE,AND LEFT MY MARK UPON THEIR FLESH,FOREVER A REMINDER OF THE TIME THE FLY BIT THE SPIDER. I'VE LEFT BRUTES LIFELESS IN THE MIDST OF TRYING TO STAB MY DRUNKEN LOST BOY BROTHERS. I'VE CRACKED THE JAWS OF MUGGERS AND PREDATORS OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE. I'VE SMASHED BOTTLES ON THE HEADS OF ABUSIVE COPS IN RIOT GEAR THUMPING THE HEADS OF INNOCENT AND NOT SO INNOCENT 14YR OLD KIDS TRYING TO BE TOGETHER FOR  ROCK N ROLL SHOWS IN GANG LADEN KILLERFORNIA DURING THE REAGANOMICIDAL H80'S. I'VE TOILED UNDER THE YOKE OF RICH ASSHOLES AND WATCHED THEM GET FAT ON THE SWEAT AND BLOOD OF GOOD MEN. I'VE CHAMPIONED ART,AND LOVE,AND FIRE,AND THE OCEAN AND DRAWN POWER FROM IT AS ITS THROWN MY BODY HELPLESSLY ONTO ROCKS WORN SMOOTH WITH MILLIONS OF YEARS OF UNDULATION AND POUNDING LIKE THE HEART BEAT AND PULSE OF THE UNIVERSE AND HEARD IT AND FELT IT AND FELT IT IN MY OWN RYTHEMS AND REALIZED MY RYTHEMS WERE ONE WITH EVRYTHING LIKE THE DHALI LLAMA SAID TO THE HOT DOG VENDOR. I'VE BURNED SO BRIGHTLY AND BURN STILL AND THE WIND IS FUCKING MINE AND MINE ALONE AND THE OCEAN IS MINE AND MINE ALONE AND ALONE AM I IN THE UNIVERSE AND THE UNIVERSE IS ALONE AND ALL ENCOMPASSING AND I CAN ALMOST JUST  GRASP IT AND A LINE GOES ON FOREVER..... BUT FUCK,MAN! I HATE WAITING IN LINE AND SUDDENLEY I'M BACK AGAIN AND WAITING BEHIND THE LOTTERY GUY WITH THE NOT SO AMBIGUOUSLY FASCIST IMAGE ON THE BACK OF HIS BACKWARDS ASSED RED NECK YINZER BACKWARDS BALL CAP AND I'M BACK,TOTALLY NOW.  AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW I'VE JUST QUIETLY GONE MAD BEHIND MY  EYES,OR HOW MUCH I'M TRULY OWED RESPECT FOR I'VE DONE THE DEEDS OF HEROES AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO.AND THE CLERK IS SLOW,AND I JUST WANT TO GET MY DR. PEPPER AND Rolling tobacco, and I just want to get back to the dog, and welcome the oncoming evening. I'd carry a lot of baggage you'd think; but a certain detatchment I possess allows me to travel light, and ready to move, so Go MAN, GO!

Tales of glory and fear pt.1

Violence at TSOL, Youth Brigade show in Hollywood... 

A friend of mine (thanx again Dano!) posted this to facebook, and made the comment 'a few bad apples could shut down a punk show These days, and it got me thinkin and ranting again, so, with some minor editing and additional text, I thought I'd use it here! So here goes:

these days? I didn't move to SF until '85, and believe me- for awhile there were riots after every other show. It irritates me how the reporter briefly states 'in the late 70's and early '80's we were famous for our clashes with authorities...' rather than how it really was: we were famous for not being compliant and just laying down when the cops showed up to break the skulls of 13-15 year old kids. It's not a matter of a couple of bad apples, it's a matter of long standing distrust and animosity between punks and pigs in the L.A. area based on some very real and enduring 'relations' damaging brutality on the parts of the police, and the long standing pack mentality of L.A. punks confronted with what they can only fairly assume at this point, is going to be a ton of brownshirt-esque tactics coming down on them from the get-go. Now, I know it's not '82-'83 anymore, but there's a very real and very violent history there. Not surprised one bit.

When I 1st moved to SF in '85, I could not BELIEVE it when everytime I saw a cop, they didn't stop me on the street, slam me against their car or a wall, go through my shit, leave it scattered on the ground and split... because I swear to you- EVERYTIME I saw a cop in L.A.- especially the suburbs- in the 80's, I was hassled. Another cute M.O. of theirs was to take guys to the parking lot of the Griffith Park Observatory and leave em up there- once in the rain-after stealing your boots, at 1am... for their amusement. This was not an isolated incident or trick of theirs either, and happened to me once, and at least 3 other people I know on separate occasions.
They hated us... without cause. For those of you who don't know, Griffith Park Observatory is where the famous knife fight scene in Rebel Without a Cause was shot... it's pretty fuckin remote, w/ no buses or anything at 1am- the walk down the road to civilization took me 3 hours what with being barefoot ...and it behing 'a long and winding road' and all... it's also filled with late night creeper cruisers (think eastside of Buena Vista Park, or GG Park by the windmills magnified 2Xs), gang jump-ins, several times its been the site for bodies being dumped, a lot of coyotes up there, psychotic hobos, etc... not fun for a suburban 14 year old kid to deal with- of course, after 2 years runnin the SF streets Griffith Park became just another street kid tale of glory, but before? Scary shit! It was almost 2 years before I stopped pulling my knife and spinning around whenever a jogger would come obliviously running up the sidewalk behind me. I STILL get tense when I hear a 'ghetto-bird' in the sky aka helicopter! Trauma man! I never realized it then, but now i realize I had a form of PTSD -and I think a lot of us did who experienced those times in that place- I'm SURE of it! heh heh.... ever see the cover of Rollins' book 'Get In The Van'? This was not some freak thing that happened one time. It was a regular occurance, and I am not shocked at all at how the Hollywood show -albeit it's now 2011!- ended up a riotous clusterfuck!

As a side note, I'd like to add that my grandfather- with whom I was very close, and I respected/respect a great deal- was an L.A.P.D. detective, as were two of my other favorite dudes on the planet (both friends of his), and that there is very real difference between veteran old school detective gunslingin badasses, and new school (even then!) patrolmen in cruisers & sheriff's deputies. NOT that I'd have ever wanted to be on the wrong side of my grandfather's and his friends' barrels! These dudes were hard-fuckin'-core! But they were/are necessary. Sheriffs deputies and radio car dicks and Beverly Hills PD, Glendale, and Burbank? Fuck them. White Flag said, in the song 'Shattered Badge' that "Just like the punks, they're not all the same- what if you called the cops and no one came?" and this point is taken to heart; but just like most punks aren't over the top jockulatory asshats, but some are- most of the Southland cops are over the top Jockulatory asshats, but some aren't.

Okay, well thanx for taking the time to read this, and remember: In the words of drive-in movie critic of the 80's , Joe Bob Briggs: "without eternal vigilance, it could happen here!"
and in the words of Stan Lee: "Nuff Said"

PS- Thanx to Dunc D. for helping me figure out how to post links in my blogs! Cheers! 
PPS- take note of the photo on the album cover the White Flag song's on, too, when you go to the link... the album is Mystic's Sounds of Hollywood COPulation Compilation LP, btw... great ol' record!

1st blog, crass commercialism, etc

So here's the deal: Starting a blog and I promise it will be filled with witty observations, film and record reviews, commentary on Fortean news items as they pop up, and maybe even snippets of 'the 1st book'... no NOT the Bible, there's older shit than that anyway- I mean my 1st Pulp/horror/crime/peepshow book... BUT! and this is a big butt... FIRST I MUST ADVERTISE!!! My Girlfriend has started an Etsy page of cool shit she makes, and I thought I'd take a shot at advertising!

Check out DEMENTED DELUXE!

wear My ghoulfriend's scares, wares, wears, and tears! Where? HERE! Buy or die! Wear or be square! Ladies- you look loverly! Look even more loverlier wit deez delightful doo-dadz!  Or buy for your sissy-ass emo boyfriends before they cry! Be the first on your block! Each item unique and one of a kind! Not yer style? No problem! Sponsor a ghoulish gal who digs the ghastliest gas in town! Looks great in yer fancy fuckin updoo! Make that stupid hairdon't into a fancy hairdid! The final touch-too-much for just a few bux! GUYS- Gotta girl who always whines about what a shit you are for never buyin her stuff anymore? Shut her the fuck up with a bitchin brooch or fancy barrette for an affordable price- then lie about how much it cost and STILL be able to get that 30pack of Keystone Light or whatever crap you pour into your fat fuckin gullet!Ugly broads- buy this stuff because it's bitchin' and will make you pretty! Pretty girls- Buy this stuff, too! You always are wantin shit anyway- well now you want this!

you WILL Check out the Demented Deluxe facebook page and 'like' it, too.

And look in the coming summer for items from WaywardWear Tees and patches brought to you by yours truly! Don't be a dick- quit lookin' like a pussy in WaywardWear Tees!  

ok! Thanx for letting me shamelessly plug away atcher consuming maw... until next time! Cheers- Hammerin' Hanke