Monday, March 14, 2011

My America... (another rant, and a review of the Blasters @ The Troc)

Along side of this horseshit corporate franchised shopping mall Starbucks shithole, where people read People, and watch crap about the Kardoucheians, and hope for a smokefree America, and a drugfree America, and where every time someone spills coffee on themselves a lawsuit ensues resulting in some chickenshit legislation outlawing paper cups... parallel to a place where the average citizen is being fucked in the pooper lubelessly against their will so regularly that they think if they vote for lube thrown in and they win, then they're doing fine... where naive and ineffectual democrats get slapped around by fat old rich republicans and the ACTUAL CITIZEN is not represented by ANYFUCKING BODY... as our fucking rights and liberties are slowly but surely stripped and pesky things like minimum wage and basic workers rights that generations of men and women fought and died for like the 40 hour workweek, the 2 day weekend, overtime, etc.. just the basics, FORGET about medical benefits or vacation time or sick days or anything so elaborate- are eliminated... where a woman can be tried for murder for aborting a child... where the politicians are nothing but dupes posing as representatives of us who fight and bicker and steal eachothers parking spaces and do everything short of pulling eachothers hair and throwing rocks at eachother like horrible spoiled children who somehow control our future?!?!?

There's another country... a country that used to have an open range and folks who lived with it... one where nothin left to lose was a pretty damn good state to be in... one where blues and jazz and rock n roll and country- and i don't mean anything to do with the 'music industry' either- but where this shit was born and played by PEOPLE... a country where hobos (and I don't mean bums, but actual travelin 'Bos) hop freight... where dudes live in their vans on the coast and surf every morning... where longhair country boys grow fields of smoke and protect them with automatic rifles... the country of outlaws and pirates and highwaymen. The land on which this place stands is all but unrecognizable as these fools believe it's ownable. It's not.

The idea of power is a complete illusion. The only reason the rulers rule is because we let them. So lets stop letting them. Just ignore them and they'll turn into infighting, inbred, ingrate mutants (which they already are anyway) and they'll simply whither and die. We'll just nod and smile when they address us, and go about our business of living. They can manipulate their politician puppets to write more laws all they want, we'll just ignore the ones that are stupid... they can take away our rights if they want- we don't care because it's all so much paper anyway. Like children, they'll scream and bitch that we're not 'playin right' and like other children we'll respond: I'm not playing this game anymore, it's dumb. We'll do our work to keep things flowing, and we'll continue to take WHAT'S FAIR- lets not become what we hate & get greedy- we can live comfortably and modestly... if they want to give less, fuck em... we smile and nod and take what we need anyway. We'll send extreme leftists to picket the compounds of extreme rightwingers and make all zealots confront eachother in that crater they shot The Conqueror in, so that those who survive the meeting will probably die of cancer anyway. We completely remove the government, otherwise and replace it with a council made up of Lemmy, John Trudell, & Lewis Black, and Rowdy Roddy Piper and we congregate once a year to discuss and settle all matters at the THING.
What got me on this kick wasn't just the negative shit goin on lately, but the positive shit too: Good ol American Music band The Blasters played the Trocadero here in Philly tonight and they still got it after over 30 years of beltin out the goodies. Phil's voice and delivery every bit as good as it was on that 1st album.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Welcome to Milktoastlandia on Planet Pussy....

So I know the days of Steve McQueen, Bogey, Lee Marvin, Chuck Bronson etc are over, but puh-lease! The pussification of society has got to stop! 'Alterno'-kids with Beiber doos and their sisters' pants are everywhere playing Warped Tour Pop about girls and emotions and feeling alienated for being a suburban wuss... The world is brainwashed into 1st of all- GIVING A FUCK about Charlie Sheen at ALL, and secondly, buying into all this Dr. Drew-esque propaganda about drugs are always bad, and anyone who does em is 'sick' with a 'disease'. On top of all that, Cap'n Crunch is being phased out.

Look man, people need to start thinking like Vince McMahon! Tiger Woods for example: Instead of making him drop out, apologize, and admit he has a 'problem', they shoulda just started running with it; I can see it now, he enters the green driven on an entirely flat-black golf cart driven by a dude dressed like Rob Halford, with 5 hot blondes draped all around it, Slayer's "Haunting The Chapel" blasting... He gets off the cart as one of the chicks takes his blunt and his forty, and he tosses his cape to the Halford dude. As he walks on, pyrotechnics EXPLODE behind him... He makes his first shot, snaps the club over his knee, pounds a forty and flips off the camera. THAT'S FUCKING SHOWMANSHIP, and he captures the hearts and minds of a whole new fanbase!

Cap'n Crunch, I'm sad to say, will be sorely missed- but why not just change the marketing strategy? Show a dude in his mid 20's to mid 30's on a couch in his boxers watching cartoons at 3pm chowin down on a bowl o' the Cap'n, with a bong sitting next to the box and a semi crushed aluminum beer can with ciggy butts stickin outta the spout.

CBS or whatever should offer Charlie Sheen a new show called 2 Hos and a Tiger Blooded F-18... too long? How about "Winning"? Put it on HBO or Showtime. Not a reality show, but a comedy with reality elements like Curb, or Entourage. I know he's a pompous asshat, but just because he fucks starlets and does blow is no reason to blacklist him... SHIT! There was a time when we EXPECTED that kind of behavior from our celebritards!

Seriously folx, nut up or shut up... REALLY!

P>S>- anyone who can afford a ton of blow and two pornstars and flyin around the world with em, doesn't 'need help'; They need a clone!