NO HOLDING BACK

Sometimes, you just never know what you've been missing until the universe just goes BAM! and picks you up and puts you on THE PATH. Do you know THE PATH? It's the one you were meant to be on... you may think you're on it, but you never truly know until she puts you on it. BUT: and here's the thing- once you've been put on it, and you'll know- trust me on this- you have to not only ride the wave and forge ahead, but ya gotta give into it and go for it with everything you have, too. Fortune favors the bold, my friends. Grab it and hold fast! Life just gave me a big one. THE big one. The end all be all of all treasures, and you can bet your eyeballs I'm seizing it with gusto and guts and total fearlessness. This one is gonna be big! YES!

To crush the enemy, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

"Well I take the dirt, and I take the dust, and I barbecue my meals." Damn skippy. What's all this shit with betas tryin to take my mind, energy, body, soul, money, pride, honor, dignity, integrety, etc... Civilization and the industrially insane who run it have manufactured a species of stupid worker brutes (mental betas), and soft bellied law abiders who like to talk about everything, like emotions, better ways to make more laws to protect the weak from the stupid, etc etc etc (physical betas). Just you keep em outta my way. All of em. I'm a heat seeking hammer weilding fire making thunder bringing head kickin' brainiac maniac caveman sumbitch, sumbitch; Don't fucking get in my way. I fuck like a beast, fight like beast, think like Carl Sagan on the verge of madness, and yer fucking floundering in front of me is so fucking irritating it makes my head want to pop. No fuckin' wonder my blood pressures high. I'm surrounded by fucking morons. Thank the universe I know how to spot friends n allies to buffer me from too much dealing with the public at large. Not that I don't possess a certain ammount of gentlemanly grace and an ability to empathize- but the second I sense judgement, fear, insecurity, etc I get a bit 'wolfey'. Don't be a sickly or injured baby elk in front of me... ya just get me sniffin' out lunch. I'm direct, blunt, and my hearts on my sleeve- but that doesn't mean it's an easy target. I smash through life in a straight fuckin' line pulled by a chrome helmeted, bolt tatted wild boar drawn rocket fueled chariot with stone wheels. Fucka Charlie fuckin' Sheen, man. I eat little self entitled bitches like that at 2AM after the bars close. Get the fuck outa my way- I'm comin' through. Nuff sed.

The Watcher on Fuckitall Island

If it weren't for my responsibility to the dog, I'd probably just say fuck it. My life has been filled with high adventure, righteousness, good friends, and fun interesting cameos by odd and entertaining sometimes wise characters. Bad times, and survival through em like a champ... and even more miraculously- survival through the good times! ;-) Never really was meant for this time and space. Out of step and un-synched my whole life. I honestly see no real reason to change anything other than to better execute some vague 'blaze of glory' fantasy I frequently indulge. Better living through chemistry my ass. FUCK THIS MODERN WORLD AND FUCK CIVILIZATION. Let it crumble. Maybe THAT'S why I need to change and take care of myself- other than to take care of The Boy Daigoro Lux- so I can watch it crumble and fall and laugh my ass to death. Sorry- not trying to be heavy, but my commitment to participation in this stupid pointless game has been hanging on one shitty rayon thread as far back as I can remember. Some people think it's a depressing outlook, but I don't at all mean it that way; it's all so funny to me. But I'm very glad I now get to watch it all fall with such badass kindred spirits as I've been so lucky to connect with. Hoot muthafuckin' HOOT! I kinda feel like there's a little more left to the ride, and right when I thought maybe it was time to get off. But I get off on it too much to quit just yet. Sometimes the universe throws a character or two in my path that really make me think "Oh fuck- OKAY then, maybe I'll stay just a little longer and see how THIS plays out... " Because that's what life is all about, right? Connection and friends and 'swimming' in/with the universal tides, and just DIGGING IT, right? Fuck the extraneous horseshit thrown atcha. Thank you friend, you know who you are- you're here, you're gone, and you are right fucking here in my heart. And thank you space time continuum for your waves. Surf's up!

I need a breathalizer installed on my computer...

I've decided I need to install a breathalizer on my computer so that I don't go on drunken internet rampages where I end up 'nuking' my friends' facebook pages with video posts, and go on insane spending binges with ebay and amazon... I mean, I know I NEEEEDed 'real' Jivarro JuJu filled shrunken heads, 2 fiji mermaids, a four foot tall wooden carved tiki bottle opener, a jar containing a two-headed baby, the complete Marvel Savage Sword of Conan, etc... and I know at the time every video I posted had some drunken signifigance where I knew everyone really gave a flying fuck about what I happened to be listening to for 16 hours straight... HAHAHAHA. But in the cold harsh unforgiving light of the hungover morning (2:58pm) my perspective was just a little different. No big deal really, I do want that shit, and now I get to have it, and my friends on FB are friends for a reason, but I'm not in the habit of annoying the livin' fuck outta people I dig. HAHAHAHA...

So here it is- in three months I'll have my license back. Let's see if I can keep from fucking hammering away at the keyboard like a mad drunken Dr. Phibes relentlessly beating on his organ ;)-hahahahaha-, unless it's on here, or while writing 'The Book'... no, not the bible- that silly shit's already been done; MY BOOK. Anyway, as Stan Lee would say: Nuff Said



PS- Tryin' not to only blog 'rants'. Gotta get back the bebop stream of conciousness shit, and more observational journalism. Gotta get back into the right head-space for it. Thanx for bearing with while I get my chops back in order.

Imperial entanglements over drunk driving faux pas.... (or) FUCK IT.

So, I started DUI classes today right? Intake anyway... had to finish this questionaire and speak with a councilor. Questions like "Do you ever drink until you black out?" yes. "have you had unprotected sex while under the influence?" yes. ..."Has drinking caused you to have trouble with the police ever?" No. "out of these 4 choices, what best describes you?" and out of all of them, I chose option "I do not feel I have a drinking problem." SO, she goes we see you've answered a lot of these real honestly, but I'm worried where it says you don't feel you have a problem. I said "my problem isn't drinking, I'm good at that. My problem was getting arrested." She goes " well right here it says you you never had a problem with police". I go "I haven't. I mean I was arrested and everything, but it wasn't really a problem. I got along fine with my arresting officers and everyone in my cell." She goes "Maqybe you should reassess what constitutes a problem to you." LOL... Then she goes "what about here where it says you've had unprotected sex while drunk... you don't think that's a problem?" I go "NO! I've had unprotected sex while sober, and it's not nearly as fun!" HAHAHAHA... She goes "that's not normal, Josh." I go "I'm not normal, mam." lol
So, I'm gonna reassess what exactly my fucking problem is, then....
A) My problem is getting pulled over in Burbank California for having a tattooed arm hanging out of the window while the Dickies "I'm a Cholo" blasted out of a '91 Caddy DeVille with primer spots and Dirty Donny shrunken head stickers in the back and a glow in the dark Buddy Christ on the dash. Didn't swerve or anything, and truth be told, I know when I shouldn't be driving. So it was a pre-emptive and definite profiling sort of situation. Now I'm not saying I think you should drive drunk without consequences- FAR FROM IT! But I'm saying THAT I SHOULD be allowed to drive drunk without them, until I actually fuck up. HAHAHAHAHA No, I'm not really saying that; But I DO feel someone should show visible signs of intoxication in order to be stopped in suspicion of it (my only visible sign was the cop saw me pull out of the parking lot. He was just lurking there, waiting).
B) My problem is that the State of California's biggest source of revenue is DUI's and minor drug arrests. The people are broke. The state's broke. So the state has devised a way to fleece the people it's supposed to represent. It's like Sheriff of Nottingham shit: Tax the people. If the people can't pay, you can jail them and take back the property they've been living on, and maybe MAYBE someone will put something THEY have up as collateral in order to get the jailed person out, and then they have THAT person in pocket and by the balls/ovaries.
C) My problem is, everyone who works in these programs are more than likely in recovery themselves, and have bought the entire BS hook line and sinker. I'm not/haven't. It's only a problem if I want to stop and can't. I don't want or need to. But I enjoy it every coupla weeks. I don't even ever say "Oh I'm gonna have one or two" and then just keep going, because I've never thought 'one or two' to be that appealing. I say "I think I'm gonna get fucked up, tonight", and then I do. NO PROBLEM. Or I think, "Nah- I'm not feelin' it tonight" and don't. NO PROBLEM. Anyway, nuff sed fer now; gotta get back into the blog swing o things again. Thanx fer checkin' it out.

My America... (another rant, and a review of the Blasters @ The Troc)

Along side of this horseshit corporate franchised shopping mall Starbucks shithole, where people read People, and watch crap about the Kardoucheians, and hope for a smokefree America, and a drugfree America, and where every time someone spills coffee on themselves a lawsuit ensues resulting in some chickenshit legislation outlawing paper cups... parallel to a place where the average citizen is being fucked in the pooper lubelessly against their will so regularly that they think if they vote for lube thrown in and they win, then they're doing fine... where naive and ineffectual democrats get slapped around by fat old rich republicans and the ACTUAL CITIZEN is not represented by ANYFUCKING BODY... as our fucking rights and liberties are slowly but surely stripped and pesky things like minimum wage and basic workers rights that generations of men and women fought and died for like the 40 hour workweek, the 2 day weekend, overtime, etc.. just the basics, FORGET about medical benefits or vacation time or sick days or anything so elaborate- are eliminated... where a woman can be tried for murder for aborting a child... where the politicians are nothing but dupes posing as representatives of us who fight and bicker and steal eachothers parking spaces and do everything short of pulling eachothers hair and throwing rocks at eachother like horrible spoiled children who somehow control our future?!?!?

There's another country... a country that used to have an open range and folks who lived with it... one where nothin left to lose was a pretty damn good state to be in... one where blues and jazz and rock n roll and country- and i don't mean anything to do with the 'music industry' either- but where this shit was born and played by PEOPLE... a country where hobos (and I don't mean bums, but actual travelin 'Bos) hop freight... where dudes live in their vans on the coast and surf every morning... where longhair country boys grow fields of smoke and protect them with automatic rifles... the country of outlaws and pirates and highwaymen. The land on which this place stands is all but unrecognizable as these fools believe it's ownable. It's not.

The idea of power is a complete illusion. The only reason the rulers rule is because we let them. So lets stop letting them. Just ignore them and they'll turn into infighting, inbred, ingrate mutants (which they already are anyway) and they'll simply whither and die. We'll just nod and smile when they address us, and go about our business of living. They can manipulate their politician puppets to write more laws all they want, we'll just ignore the ones that are stupid... they can take away our rights if they want- we don't care because it's all so much paper anyway. Like children, they'll scream and bitch that we're not 'playin right' and like other children we'll respond: I'm not playing this game anymore, it's dumb. We'll do our work to keep things flowing, and we'll continue to take WHAT'S FAIR- lets not become what we hate & get greedy- we can live comfortably and modestly... if they want to give less, fuck em... we smile and nod and take what we need anyway. We'll send extreme leftists to picket the compounds of extreme rightwingers and make all zealots confront eachother in that crater they shot The Conqueror in, so that those who survive the meeting will probably die of cancer anyway. We completely remove the government, otherwise and replace it with a council made up of Lemmy, John Trudell, & Lewis Black, and Rowdy Roddy Piper and we congregate once a year to discuss and settle all matters at the THING.
What got me on this kick wasn't just the negative shit goin on lately, but the positive shit too: Good ol American Music band The Blasters played the Trocadero here in Philly tonight and they still got it after over 30 years of beltin out the goodies. Phil's voice and delivery every bit as good as it was on that 1st album.

Welcome to Milktoastlandia on Planet Pussy....

So I know the days of Steve McQueen, Bogey, Lee Marvin, Chuck Bronson etc are over, but puh-lease! The pussification of society has got to stop! 'Alterno'-kids with Beiber doos and their sisters' pants are everywhere playing Warped Tour Pop about girls and emotions and feeling alienated for being a suburban wuss... The world is brainwashed into 1st of all- GIVING A FUCK about Charlie Sheen at ALL, and secondly, buying into all this Dr. Drew-esque propaganda about drugs are always bad, and anyone who does em is 'sick' with a 'disease'. On top of all that, Cap'n Crunch is being phased out.

Look man, people need to start thinking like Vince McMahon! Tiger Woods for example: Instead of making him drop out, apologize, and admit he has a 'problem', they shoulda just started running with it; I can see it now, he enters the green driven on an entirely flat-black golf cart driven by a dude dressed like Rob Halford, with 5 hot blondes draped all around it, Slayer's "Haunting The Chapel" blasting... He gets off the cart as one of the chicks takes his blunt and his forty, and he tosses his cape to the Halford dude. As he walks on, pyrotechnics EXPLODE behind him... He makes his first shot, snaps the club over his knee, pounds a forty and flips off the camera. THAT'S FUCKING SHOWMANSHIP, and he captures the hearts and minds of a whole new fanbase!

Cap'n Crunch, I'm sad to say, will be sorely missed- but why not just change the marketing strategy? Show a dude in his mid 20's to mid 30's on a couch in his boxers watching cartoons at 3pm chowin down on a bowl o' the Cap'n, with a bong sitting next to the box and a semi crushed aluminum beer can with ciggy butts stickin outta the spout.

CBS or whatever should offer Charlie Sheen a new show called 2 Hos and a Tiger Blooded F-18... too long? How about "Winning"? Put it on HBO or Showtime. Not a reality show, but a comedy with reality elements like Curb, or Entourage. I know he's a pompous asshat, but just because he fucks starlets and does blow is no reason to blacklist him... SHIT! There was a time when we EXPECTED that kind of behavior from our celebritards!

Seriously folx, nut up or shut up... REALLY!

P>S>- anyone who can afford a ton of blow and two pornstars and flyin around the world with em, doesn't 'need help'; They need a clone!